awakening

Force Majeure

Working for an idea of success, for instance, can be driven by a deep belief in unworthiness, originating in pain in the body—the belief of unworthiness works to be successful, and therefore worthy. And it’s tricky because success sure seems like a real desire.

But who is talking? Who is it that wants to be successful? Because I’ve never met a body who wants to be successful. I’ve met bodies who want a certain kind of home, car, friends, collaborative work, creative expression, clothes, food, etc. Our bodies want tangible, specific, real things. It’s the painbodies, including my own, that want abstract things—like success, approval, etc.

Body desires are real. Painbody ‘desires’ are not. But only recently have I been able to grasp what the tangible, embodied desire is when a painbody is active.  For instance, if my ‘doer’ (based in unworthiness) is active, and I’m ‘achieving’ a lot in a day, out of effort, I can see that all that doing isn’t what my body actually wants. I get depleted, and frustrated, and things get glitchy—all signs I’m out of what is true.

Already Is My Favorite Word

After these chats, I realized again how much I love the word already because it describes the essence of reality, of what IS. Truth, clarity, fulfillment, love, peace, information, innovation, solutions, insights, etc—these things are already right here. The word ‘already’ helps to cut the legs out from under the doer, the seeker, the achiever—i.e. the various separate selves—from heading out to get something, do something.

For a chronic doer like me, this realization is an immense relief.

The rule of ‘already’ goes for every little thing. We want a hot dog and a beer. Or a salad and a sunbath. The desire itself is already true by the time we notice it. It occurs TO us—popping into awareness, out of the moment. It just… IS. And then, right in the moment we want a hot dog, we remember the place down the street that has the best Chicago-style dogs . The hot dog place was already there. The memory was already there, the impulse was already there. We may even already be walking in that direction. 

What occurs is an increased awareness of what is already the case.