Working for an idea of success, for instance, can be driven by a deep belief in unworthiness, originating in pain in the body—the belief of unworthiness works to be successful, and therefore worthy. And it’s tricky because success sure seems like a real desire.
But who is talking? Who is it that wants to be successful? Because I’ve never met a body who wants to be successful. I’ve met bodies who want a certain kind of home, car, friends, collaborative work, creative expression, clothes, food, etc. Our bodies want tangible, specific, real things. It’s the painbodies, including my own, that want abstract things—like success, approval, etc.
Body desires are real. Painbody ‘desires’ are not. But only recently have I been able to grasp what the tangible, embodied desire is when a painbody is active. For instance, if my ‘doer’ (based in unworthiness) is active, and I’m ‘achieving’ a lot in a day, out of effort, I can see that all that doing isn’t what my body actually wants. I get depleted, and frustrated, and things get glitchy—all signs I’m out of what is true.