healing

Force Majeure

Working for an idea of success, for instance, can be driven by a deep belief in unworthiness, originating in pain in the body—the belief of unworthiness works to be successful, and therefore worthy. And it’s tricky because success sure seems like a real desire.

But who is talking? Who is it that wants to be successful? Because I’ve never met a body who wants to be successful. I’ve met bodies who want a certain kind of home, car, friends, collaborative work, creative expression, clothes, food, etc. Our bodies want tangible, specific, real things. It’s the painbodies, including my own, that want abstract things—like success, approval, etc.

Body desires are real. Painbody ‘desires’ are not. But only recently have I been able to grasp what the tangible, embodied desire is when a painbody is active.  For instance, if my ‘doer’ (based in unworthiness) is active, and I’m ‘achieving’ a lot in a day, out of effort, I can see that all that doing isn’t what my body actually wants. I get depleted, and frustrated, and things get glitchy—all signs I’m out of what is true.

A Healing Estuary

This process, along with caterpillars turning into butterflies and frogs regrowing legs (and a billion other mysteries in our biological reality) doesn’t make sense from a materialist worldview—the worldview that says things are separate, operate themselves, and are disconnected from the rest of Life, with one DNA packet code per separate, solid life form. 

But major internal change—this kind of smoltification process—including completely new shapes & operating systems, is more the norm than the exception in Nature. And it is actually the norm for us humans (though we are taught the materialist worldview—that we are nouns instead of verbs). 

It is the natural process of evolution—a radical transformation in which our whole Being alters, finding a much bigger space to occupy, as we drop old constrictions (limiting beliefs) in our system. And this evolutionary process is built into us, just like the salmon. 

But it takes some healing, some time in the brackish waters—letting go of old patterns, old internal systems…eating some salt, as it were.