There is a deep cultural belief that the path to getting what we want requires sacrifice—some kind of cost or payment. There is a pound of flesh, a penance, blood spilled, a compromise, or hard work involved. Embedded in this belief is that the sacrifice is worth it because of how you feel, or what you gain, when you get there—the thing is worth the cost of admission.

This bedrock belief is everywhere, in everyone. How many times have I heard some version of:

• It sucks getting to the gym, but I feel great after.

• I don’t want to sit down and do my homework or emails or pay my bills, but it’s worth it to have it done.

• Eating salads (or whatever “health” food trend) is a drag, but I feel better when I do.

• Marriage is work. Relationships are work. But we work on it and it’s worth it.

• These long hours are worth it. My retirement will be the reward.

• Work first. Then play.

• We need to sacrifice for the greater good.

• I have to do _____. Then I can do _____.

• A little effort goes a long way.

• Compromise is necessary.

I can feel the pull of these statements, the convincing quality. I’m writing this blog and I STILL almost believe them.

But the sacrifice idea isn’t, ultimately, true. Or at least, it’s not the truest thing. The truest thing is that Life does not require your bloodshed, or any real cost to your Being. It will most certainly cost you your story—your limited and distorted ideas about yourself and life—but it does not require an actual, physical, tangible cost in the way we imagine.